Exasperated

Today I am tired…

Today is a cloudy day for me. Not physically, but mentally.

Depression can be a bitch. While I take medication for depression, I still have “cloudy” days.

They usually are never brought on by something but I wake up and it’s there. It’s there like a weight sitting on my chest.

It’s been awhile since I last posted. Life has been so… hard.

Recently I have been feeling like a failure. As most of you know, I am currently enrolled in nursing school. I am barely surviving this semester. I rewarded myself on Monday because I finally passed a test. FINALLY. I have literally failed every single test this semester besides the one on Monday.

Why is it that I can try so hard and never be good enough? I know that I will make an incredible nurse. I mean damn, I already am a nurse (LPN) and I am amazing. I see other people around who start to study the weekend before a test and come out with an incredible grade.

Today I am tired…

I work while I go to school and today as I write this I am at work. I have finished my assignment due this weekend and finished my coffee. My peers have slept in all day or gone out with their friends. They have enjoyed the beautiful weather today.

I on the other hand have not enjoyed my cloudy day. I miss William whom I feel as if I have not seen in days. My house is dirty and needs to be cleaned. The dogs are wild because I do not get to spend enough time with them outside. My bank account is dropping no matter how hard I work. I am behind on studying and projects that are due. I have a to-do-list that is a mile long.

Today I am tired…

 

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